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Kitty [CLAWS] Baker // The Next Big Evil Overlord
26 August 2012 @ 04:20 pm
Will be updated when threads are started and/or finished.

Dinner with hexedazazeal [FINISHED]

Never Leave (NWS) with hexedazazeal [IP]

Oh no, it's girl talk with lilmisscassie [IP]
Kitty [CLAWS] Baker // The Next Big Evil Overlord
18 September 2008 @ 10:29 am
verse 1; flash-fic!verse (aka canon!verse)


verse 2; hexed!verse (aka imcrazy!verse)

this will involve a relationship
with hexedazazeal
Kitty [CLAWS] Baker // The Next Big Evil Overlord
“What the hell are you doing?!” I snap, in one hand I hold a large knife and in the other a death ray (for effect). “Captain Twinkletoes, get your ass over here right now!” I whisper harshly at him, glaring as if I could make him blow up right on the spot – oh how I wish!

“Don’t you mean: tight, nicely formed ass?” He coos at me, forcing myself not to strangle him. “What’s up, sweetcheeks?” He gnaws on a large piece of beef jerky, wiggling his eyebrows at me in a suggestive manner.

I roll my eyes, feeling revolted. “What is that?!” I hiss in a low voice, pointing at the dried meat hanging from between his lips.

Captain Twinkletoes huffs, full of arrogance and cockiness. “Beef Jerky. Duh.” He offers me a piece and I smack it out of his hand. “Hey! This bag was $5, you know. You owe me a dollar!”

“God! You’re so stupid!” I sigh heavily, looking at the cowering people in front of me. “Put it away or I swear I’ll throw it in the trash!” I glare at the bank manager, who is eagerly stuffing cash into brown sacks for them. This was a goddamn heist and he had the nerve to ruin it for me by gnawing on nasty pieces of over dried beef…Made me want to gag.

If this money could buy me a new partner in crime, I would weep.

WC: 241
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
Kitty [CLAWS] Baker // The Next Big Evil Overlord
"Captain Twinkletoes has requested you as his training partner.” The guy that poses as some sort of villainous leader smirks up at me, like he’s doing me some favor. I just wanna smack the grin right off his face.

I roll my eyes huffing loudly, as if I’m about to go into some hormonal/evil tizzy over it. “Whatever. If he ends up crying over some boo-boo?” I retort. “Don’t come crying to me, loverboy.” I turn on my heels (which are OMGexpensive, by the way) and exit the briefing room that’s in the heart of the Leagues secret headquarters.

“Well, well, well..Look what the…kitty dragged in.” My ex-boyfriend, Captain Twinkletoes, is back at it again – trying to make my life hell, and he’s succeeding. “Guess we’re gonna be stuck at the hip, darling kitten.” He purrs. I hiss.

I snatch the file from in between his gloved fingertips and take a gander. Bank heist. Another damn bank heist. How much money could this place use up? Seriously. Heating and electricity’s gotta be squat compared to what I pay in the heart of L.A. I shake my head with a heavy sigh and toss it on my desk, which is now placed right next to Twinkletoes’.

“Think you can help out in this heist without acting like an i-d-iot?” I glare at him, and he gives me that toothy smile. Bastard. “Let me rephrase that: you better do this without acting like an idiot. Or I'll claw those pretty green eyes out of your skull.” I smile smugly. “Better, pretty boy?”

“Oh, stop, the compliments—“ He clutches his chest ever so dramatically. “--- my ego is growing. Exponentially!” He gasps, falling back into his desk chair, which rolls away into the hallway. I hear the thud of him hitting the wall and laugh, a smug smile on my face.

Looks like I’m gonna be doing this heist alone. Even if I have to tie little ol’ Twinkletoes up.

WC: 328
Kitty [CLAWS] Baker // The Next Big Evil Overlord
26 August 2008 @ 09:46 am
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I feel my mouth drop open and my eyes blink a million times faster than they normally should. My mouth goes dry, and I feel like hitting something.

“Nope. In the flesh, baby.” He winks at me, making my stomach turn. “Miss me?” His smile is bright, and his eyes twinkle as he grins.

I gag dramatically, shaking my head in a quick `No`, waving my arms around to support that heavy `NO`. “Heavens no. You’re lucky I haven’t kicked you in the throat.” I snap, my eyes narrowing at him as I feel my temperature rising. I feel my cheeks starting to blush, so I look away.

The fact that my old boyfriend has shown up in my evil league (L.E.E.G) makes me sick, makes me want to hunt down whoever let his dumbass through the door. He’s a moron, plain and simple – has the leagues standards really dropped that low? Boggles my mind to think of why I actually dated him.

“Nice latex pants, fairy boy.” I roll my eyes, snorting in pure amusement. “What are you? Captain Twinkletoes?”

He rolls his eyes in return, sauntering forward in a macho-man sorta way, his walk makes me want to puke on his shiny rubber shoes. “Now, now, no need to be catty, Kitten.” He says with that asshole grin of his. “This just means we’ll get the chance to spend time together.”

I snap my teeth at him when he gets to close, crossing my arms over my chest. “Don’t you dare think about requesting me as a training partner. I will claw your eyes out.”

And this is how Captain Twinkletoes came back into my life. Don't worry, it gets better.

WC: 289
Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Kitty [CLAWS] Baker // The Next Big Evil Overlord
21 August 2008 @ 02:18 pm
Why yes! Believe it or not, my main goal is to rule the world --- insert evil laughter here --- what? You're shocked? Really? You think that being an evil overlord is a mans job -- well, if you do, you must be flippin' crazy because I'm here to prove it's not! I've been in Evil Training since I was a little kid, and just recently got inducted into the League of Extraordinarily Evil Gentleman*.

That's right. Little ol' Claws got herself into the League. Are you jealous? I bet you are! I'm more evil than all your fancy asses combined! But back on topic: yes, I want to be an evil overlord. You'll see, it'll happen. Don't you worry your pretty little head, I might not kill you.....JUST KIDDING!


* Or Women...No need to be sexist pigs in the world of evil...
Current Mood: amusedamused